After quite the busy year with two daughters getting married, I have found myself in a new season of life: together with my Dad and brother and my husband, I am caring for my beloved Mom, as she nears the end of her life in palliative care.
My Mom is my favorite person! She is the most kind, the most self-less, the most loving person
I know!
My Mom is my favorite person! She is the most kind, the most self-less, the most loving personHer strong, holy Faith is palpable: through her service to the Church (46+ years playing the organ), and the example she has set as a Mom, wife and daughter of God, with her many prayers and devotions, impeccable Mass attendance, and her Faith in action through constant kindness, goodness, generosity and care for others.
I know there is a crowd up in Heaven, eagerly awaiting her arrival, but I don’t want to let go!
These are some Prompts to Pray that I have found helpful, particularly in the last two months.
“Jesus, I want what You want”
And when it feels like my heart needs a little convincing,
I pray “Jesus, please bend my will to Yours”
- When my heart stops as I consider the things she will not be able to do again, the things she won’t see again, (beyond her hospital bed in the living room), the family milestones she will likely miss (after this summer), the activities she won’t enjoy again, like attending Mass in person, eating at a restaurant, or playing the piano, (just a foot away from her bed): I realize that Jesus has the best plan for her salvation. He wants her total happiness and He’s getting ready to welcome her into Eternal Happiness with Him.
I don’t want to imagine life without her here with me, but I want what is best for her, and only Jesus knows what that is. When I get lost in these thoughts, I choose to pray “Jesus, I want what You want” or this Prayer of Surrender:
Prayer of Surrender
“Lord, help me to entrust my mom into Your loving hands.
I surrender what I cannot control.
Show me how to best care for her in her suffering,
to love her most tenderly and to be present to her.”
- When I feel so helpless because she is suffering; when she is in pain. After I run around trying to see if I can give her meds, a heating bag, water to drink, tea to settle her stomach, a gentle massage, or another pillow, I pray
Prayer for Peace and Comfort
Jesus, heal her, comfort her, and console her
and pour your graces on me to help any way I can.
Jesus, be close to my mom in her suffering.
Please ease her pain, calm her fears,
and let her feel Your Presence.
Show me how to reflect Your peace, love, joy and hope.
- When I feel angry, because this is happening to my Mom, I pray
“Please, Jesus, use her suffering to get a whole lot of souls out of purgatory”
“and when it’s her time, please fast-pass her directly into Your Arms
and into the Arms of all her loved ones up there”
- When I am afraid: afraid to fail to meet her needs, afraid that I will not recognize a pain that can be remedied, and afraid that I won’t be able to cope without her, I will pray
“Jesus, fill me with Your Grace,
make up for what I lack,
prompt me to be attentive and useful,
and prompt me to keep trusting in You.”
- When I feel tired or overwhelmed when I’m at Mom’s side (and especially when I’m not at her bedside),
I pray
Prayer for Strength and Endurance
“Holy Spirit, I am tired and stretched thin.
Please fill me with Your Strength
and Your Grace.
Help me to be patient,
gentle, and present.”
- When I feel frustrated with others who seem preoccupied with their own needs and almost-oblivious to my Mom’s suffering and the reality of how little time we may have left with her, I pray for patience with them, peace and joy for my Mom and for Jesus to be patient with me in my littleness. I also pray “Help me to cherish every moment I have left with my Mom.”
Prayer for Grace to Cherish the Moments
“Father, help me to treasure these moments with my mom.
Help me to remain fully present to her.
What prayers, memories, words, or simple gifts can I offer her?”
- When I feel anxious about what is to come, I know I need to choose to pray
“Jesus, I trust in You”. Sometimes, this is just a deliberate act of the will. They are words I repeat, while I feel more tremble than trust. God knows my heart and that I want to trust Him more and more.
Prayer for Trust in God’s Timing
“God, I trust in You in the days ahead,
even when they feel uncertain or painful.
You have walked every step with us.
Remind me that Your timing is perfect.
Help me to feel Your Presence and Your Grace
and prompt me to trust in You.”
Dear Monica
Thank you for sharing the heartfelt and eloquent Prompts to Pray you rely on as you support your Mom in palliative care.
Everyone who knows Terea would agree with you that she is the most kind, selfless and loving person we have had the privilege to know.
We have taken many pictures of your Mom in our TPS camera club outings and lunches over the years. My brother Kevin always comments on “Teresa’s “beautiful smile”. That beautiful smile is in the pictures you have posted here – you and your Mom have the same beautiful smile.
Teresa’s example of devotion to Faith, and the kindness and goodness she displayed throughout her life has been an inspiration to us all.
Please give Teresa our love .
Sincerely,
Jill & Kevin
My prayers are with you Monica, with your brother and your Dad as you travel along this most difficult journey . My prayers are with your Mom I’m sure the hand of God is holding Theresa’s hand .
May God be with you, may he give you strength and peace.
You and I have never met but it was my brother John who taught your Mom piano all those many years ago .
So beautiful everyone. With prayers for you all.
My prayers are with you Monica, with your brother and your Dad as you travel along this most difficult journey . My prayers are with your Mom I’m sure the hand of God is holding Theresa’s hand .
May God be with you, may he give you strength and peace.
You and I have never met but it was my brother John who taught your Mom piano all those many years ago .
Monica blessings to you, taking care of your dear mum Teresa, prayers is a wonderful, and powerful gift,I have been praying for Teresa and each of you.
Please tell her I’m thinking and praying for,
I am not the intended audience for this post (in all honesty, I can’t quite remember how I found my way to your website earlier this afternoon as a childless, irreligious young person) but your devotion to your mom is so admirable that I feel it necessary to commend you for it. The qualities that you ascribe to her – kindness, goodness, generosity and care – are surely common to your family, as you also embody them in your paramount concern for her comfort in what is doubtlessly an incredibly difficult time for you, too. I wish you, your mother, and the rest of your family the very best in the days ahead.
Wow, thank you so much
This spoke directly into my heart. I feel like you summarized every feeling and thought I had when I was losing my dad, it was just a much more condensed time period. My heart is aching for all of you and I spend a lot of time thinking about the love I’ve had for your mom throughout my whole life. Xox
Thanks so much, Jenn! We already miss your Dad so much!
Monica,
How beautiful this tribute to your Mom and to your faith and family!
Praying for you and your Mom for God’s Divine Will
as we know to be all encompassing truth, hope, and love.
Love, Susan Anderson
Thank you so much, Susan! We appreciate the prayers!